Good-byes

The inevitable has begun. I've had to start to say good-bye. I'm not going to lie, I do feel like I've finished what I came here to do. I feel ready to come home but that doesn't make leaving any easier.

I only have eleven short days left in this country which has come to be my home. Eleven days! Not that long ago I felt as though I had an eternity to get through and now, somehow, it's all slipped through my fingers. Logic tells me it's been ten months but my brain says something else. When I reflect on my year and look at the thousands of pictures I took, I can remember every event, every detail, every story. It's like a movie in my mind. I guess it must all be so clear because each memory meant so much to me. Everything I did this year was big. Everything took courage and strength. And the end is going to be no exception.

I get what other exchange students mean when they say they don't want to come home. I think more than anything, they are refering to the fact that they don't want to re-enter reality because after being away for so long that's essentially what we're doing. I am so far away from everything my life used to be. Work, school, studying, daily routine and responsibilties, family. And on top of that life back home seems incredibly boring. I mean I just went to the Czech Republic for the weekend. When am I going to get to do that in Canada? So I think a big part of it is that and the other part is, it's down right difficult to leave. I have to say good-bye to everything I worked so hard to earn this year. Everything. Because although I'm sure I'll return to Slovakia, it will never be my home again, I will only ever visit.

Right now I kind of feel like around every corner is another good-bye another ending. It's emotionally draining and overwhelming. But there's also that edge of excitement because I know that with every good-bye I'm one step closer to coming home. So at any given time I can be feeling anywhere from estatic and depressed. I really do feel sorry for those around me.

This past weekend was the big good-bye however. It was the last meeting with all the exchange students and my god was it difficult to leave them all. I miss them so much already. It sounds cheesy but it's the truth when I say they were my family this year. Because when nothing else made sense, when no one else understood what I was going through, they were there going through the same stuff. Despite only seeing eachother once every two months this year we became really close as a group. Inseperable in fact. Whoever said 'you don't know what you have until it's gone' was so right. Because now that they are gone I know there are 42 other young people out there in this world who would have my back, who would welcome me into their home, who would take care of me. The friendships we forged are indescribable and will live on despite the distance without a doubt.

ps. the total count is in. I've gained 19 pounds. I guess it could be worse but I will definitely be hitting the gym when I get home. Funny story to go with this though. I have been having this issue you see. All my pants have been ripping. And not just anywhere but always in the crotch. I've gone through several pairs. It's really quite annoying. And I thought I was alone in this predicament until it came up while camping and as it turns out all the other exchange girls are having the same problem. So either Slovakia has really poor quality pants or we all have thicker thighs than when we came. I'm betting it's the later one but I prefer to tell people it's the first. Either way it's Slovakia's fault.

pps. I just have to share this because I am absolutely horrified. You want to know whats in style here right now????????? MULLETS! but as if that's not bad enough, they have mullets with dreads in them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! mmmhhhmmm I swear every fourth guy walking down the street has a mullet with at least one dread. It's awful. I CANNOT wait to come home to clean, short haired, sharply dressed canadian boys. oh how I can't wait.